A Sense Of Perspective

After the shameful performance ‘oop norf’ yesterday, Vital Arsenal’s own Professor Calculus has been in fine form today bringing a sense of perspective to the world.

We have had a couple of visitors to the forum today from the Sheffield area who have been questioning our team & belief rather than our teams performance, to which, the Prof had this to say to the blades fans.

You mean like ‘I believe I can fly’ yeah that ought to do it, so all Curbishly has to do is tell his players to believe they are Pele or Zidane or even Ronaldinho and then they will avoid relegation.

Your football insight is genius, quick phone up Warnock and tell him to tell his players that they just have to believe they can win the premiership then they will.

We lost yersterday, we were crap, it happens. You should know more about losing than us right? Then you should know that losing is a fact of football, again I’m assuming you are more familiar with this bitter fact than us Arsenal fans. Man Utd lost to West Ham, they were crap, so what, it happens.

Tell you what, next time Arsenal lose to a bunch of volley ball donkey’s I’m going draw massive, sweeping conclusions from the result, I’m going to declare all previous stats and facts from the past decade as rubbish and come to the conclusion that in fact fabregas and co are terrible players who just can’t handle real football (and by real I mean launchball) then I will decide that even though Arsenal’s tackling stats is comparable to the Bolton’s of this world, they don’t really like to roll their sleeves up and get stuck in, because it’s not really getting stuck in unless it’s done with an English accent, and this ‘getting stuck in’ tactic which England love so much has brought them so much success over the past forty years hasn’t it?

Yep, all this has made me realize that what we actually need is a bunch of Donkey’s who just ‘believe’ they are Arsenal, Wenger should go out and by an English midfielder who likes to roll his sleeves up and get stuck in, then just tell him to believe that he’s Fabregas. Arsenal should forget about buying the real Fabregas, the future is obviously buying crapier players but telling them to believe they are better players. To think that all these years Wenger has been wasting his time just buying qulity players in the first place.

Article submitted by Professor Calculus