Wingers’ World

Well, it’s that time of year again, the one that sucks big time. Post-season. ho-hum.

So no matches to talk about, or performances (stellar or appalling) to discuss. No tackles to rant about, or red/yellow cards to rage against. And now you can’t even moan about Graham poll. Sorry folks.

It’s a case of waiting for Arsenal stories to slip through, whether it be a signing, a sale, or the wildest piece of transfer speculation ever mentioned in the same breath of our club.

So while this is the case, I’m going to endeavour to bring you a round up of the day’s news from the wider football world, beyond the realms of the kingdom of wenger. Although we’re gooners, and our first thoughts are about the arsenal, it’s always interesting keeping an eye on what’s going on at the other clubs. Who’s signing who, who’s been sacked, and what manager’s been rumbled as having an extra-marital affair with a member of his club’s behind-the-scenes staff.

Orcastle United

Now, we all now that Big Sam has become the manager of the barcodes. Unless you’ve been encased in carbonite in the desert palace of jabba the hutt, anyhows. Does this mean we’ll see them adopting the same playing style that Bolton became synonymous with? Surely the geordie fans wouldn’t be happy with that…

Sam apparently want to raid his former club for backroom staff, and has already begun setting about shaping the playing staff. His first player-related decision? To release Titus Bramble on a free transfer… no dissenting voices at that decision, i should imagine.

Bent Banknotes

Charlton’s Darren Bent is reportedly allowed to leave the valley for a fee of £15m, with the tiny totts and Liverpool heading the chase for his signature. Bent is alleged to favour a move to the mob up the road, and the chance to play alongside the spuds striker-cum-bounty hunter, Dimitar Boba Fett. Apparently he likes that cool jet pack and helmet that the spuds number nine wears. Rumours abound that Chelski may enter the race too, as Petr Cech has a very similar piece of headgear…

21 – The Key To The Door

The Sheffield Steelers Blades FC, in a lame attempt to save themselves from relegation to the football league, have proposed an expansion of the premier league to 21 teams, including, surprise surprise, themselves. Football League chairman Lord Mahinneythepooh has already distanced himself from the plan, saying, ‘as chairman of the Football League it’s got nothing to do with us. It’s a matter for the Premier League, they’re handling it.’

Having already parted company with the premiership, and then Neil Warnock, it now appears they’ve parted company with their senses too.

See, that’s what happens when you elbow one of our players in the moosh, chaps. Pardew tried to cross swords with Arsene and look what happened to him – he got the sack, and then relegation with another club. When are people gonna learn, it’s bad karma to mess with The Arsenal!

Brown to Go Red and White?

As you’ve probably heard, Gordon Brown is to be unopposed as the next leader of the labour party. And the Queen is a Gooner. So, seeing as Her Maj has the power to dissolve parliament, and kick his ‘butt’ out, does this mean that she can order dear ol’ Gordon to be a Gooner? And if she does, can we look forward to a nice tax break in future budgets, when we go in to sign the latest world-class 14 year old from Malta, or ‘super-class’ players that Lord Wenger referred to recently?

righty-ho, mi’ hearties, that’s yer lot for now as I’ve run out of schtuff – till next time… adios muchachos!