Date: 30th May 2007 at 3:15pm
Written by:

What-ho, old beans.

Bally miserable old day again, eh, pip pip? Fair old put the kibosh on my grouse shoot.

Anyhow, enough about all that, here’s a veritable cash-in-the-attic of stuff happening outside Arsenal



Musical Sven-Gali

Winger’s World can exclusively reveal the true nature of Sexy Svennis’ new career path. After a fair deal of speculation of what club he’ll end up at, it can be exclusively revealed (made up) the TRUE nature of Sven’s new position. And bom-chicka-wah-wah, doesnt he look good. Step forward, Sven Stefani, seen here on the cover of his debut album.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Meanwhile, over in the midlands…

Lee Hendrie, the man with the orange perma-tan, and all-round good-lookah, is considering a move away from the midlands in his pursuit of regular football, and in the premiership at that!

The Gareth Bale prototype, in looks at least, has attracted interest from premiership giants Leicester, Coventry and Stoke. Hendrie, after zipping shut his suitcase and being handed a one way ticket to Palookaville by Martin O’Neill, who was impatiently holding open the Villa Park exit door, said, ‘I would love to play for a Premiership club,’ before considering his level of ability and subsequently adding, ‘or at least a Championship side who are serious about promotion.’



Poll’s Position

Recently retired prem ref Graham ‘two-wrongs-don’t-make-a-right-but-three-yellows-make-a-red’ Poll has hit out at his the Football Association, and explained that it was their lack of backing after the furore from the 2-1 defeat inflicted upon the SW6 Moscow State Circus by Manchester United’s feeder club, Totteringham Spurts, back in November that led to him deciding to end his career.

After being accused by circus’ captain Terry that Poll had told the russians that they ‘needed to be taught a lesson’, and FA chief exec Brian Berk’s failure to back him, poll recalled, ‘At that moment he was saying goodbye to my career,’ Poll said. ‘I sat there and thought: ‘This is going nowhere. This is me being abused again and again and again’.’

All of which leads of to a very conflicting situation. We find ourselves in the unenviable position of agreeing with Poll over his stance on the idiocy of our sport’s governing body, but thinking he’s still a c**t, and partly having the FA to thank for Graham Poll retiring, all the while knowing that the reason he did is because they were once again displaying the ineptitude for which we all know they are renowned for…



Saving Private Ryan

Welsh Wing Wizard (TM any number of tabloid hacks) Ryan The Giggs has announced his retirement from the international football arena, at the ripe old age of 33, presumably to keep himself fresh for ManUSA.

Quite how this will affects Wales is anyone’s guess, and for most of the 16 years since he made his welsh debut, he hardly played, with his manager, Sir Taggart Ferguson, always informing the press of yet another unfortunate ‘injury’…



Until next time, fare thee well, you fine fellows. Parting is such sweet sorrow…