Date: 31st August 2010 at 11:09am
Written by:

With a little under 7 hours until the transfer window slams shut for another 4 months, chaos reigns on the Internet, whilst smug-faced mobile phone wielding tossers pretend to be in know sit talking bollocks on various news channels (and sometimes it actually leads to punditry jobs, seriously, how that twat Andy Burton is still being allowed on our televisions is beyond me).

I know many of us would rather hide our heads under our pillows and wait till it all blows over, but we’re not all the same and some people enjoy the drama of deadline day, indeed, in years gone by I’ve worn out many an F5 key whilst sat waiting for news of a new player, so I’ve created this thread for all you ‘F5ers’ out there.

I’ll try my best to keep this article updated with any news that comes our way, however flimsy it may appear to be, and then if we get any official confirmation I’ll post another article to welcome our new boy or say goodbye to an old one.

In early news, Mark Schwarzer is still hopeful of a move to Arsenal, indeed reports have been made of Arsenal making a final offer of £4 Million.

Vital Arsenal understands (for ‘understands’ read, ‘saw on a dodgy website’) that Armand Traore has completed a loan move to Italy’s Old Lady, Juventus.

Whilst in semi-Arsenal related news that nobody in the world actually gives a shit about, Mikel Silvestre has signed for Werder Bremen. The only slightly interesting thing about this transfer is that he will now face T*ttenham in the Champions League. Let’s hope old 50 pence head can bag himself a goal …. can’t be that difficult can it?

Ok, so that’s it for now ….. Stay tuned on this most dramatic of TRANSFER DEADLINE DAYS!!!

Der Der, Der Der Der!!!!

BREAKING NEWS: DUM DUM DUM DUM!!!! News coming through to us here at Vital Arsenal that Birminham City are looking to take Arsenal left back Armand Traore on loan, that’s even after Vital Arsenal undestandered ….. understooded …. understanderooded ….. read on a dodgy website that, that he’d already tied up a loan move to Juventus.

BREAKING NEWS: Some complete bollocks filtering through to us now is that Arsenal will make a last gasp attempt to sign Lyon’s Hugo Lloris by offering the French giants £14 Million, Manuel Almunia and a packet of pork scratchings.

More testies to follow.

BORING NEWS: Arsene Wenger has been scuppered in his attempts to land Fulham pensioner, Mark Schwarzer after The Cottagers (New nickname needed, seriously Fulham, look it up on Urban Dictionary or something) claim the big Austrailian was staying put.

Arsene Wenger was unavailable for comment, but shouts of “F**KING GET IN THERE” could be heard coming from Tim Stillman’s flat.