Date: 29th August 2012 at 12:06pm
Written by:

It’s clear that there is going to be a humdrum of transfer activity before the deadline passes at 11pm GMT Friday. So we might as well document the information in one place so we can look on in wonder as Arsenal move their garage sale into overdrive.

WEDNESDAY

Marouane Chamakh looks as though he will get the opportunity to smoke all the shisha he likes, as Besiktas manager Samet Aybaba has told local press a deal could be done soon, ‘”We have decided to push forwards in our attempts to sign a striker, there is a high possibility we will sign Chamakh.”


Earth shattering, bone chilling news! According to the very much in the know Jeorge Bird, Arsenal youth striker Philip Roberts will join Inverness Caledonian Thistle on loan until January.

THURSDAY

So now, apparently Theo Walcott will not be sold but also won’t sign a new deal before Friday. Scott Sinclair has gone to City and Liverpool are having trouble offloading Andy Carroll, so our options for flogging him are limited. Perhaps something for young Theo to consider when asking for £100k a week.

Apparently, having been foiled for van Persie, Llorente and Berbatov this summer, Juventus have had a few, it’s 2am and their eyes are cast on the dancefloor desperate for a solution. They have reportedly spied a “tired and emotional” looking Nicklas Bendtner, who is winking and twirling his hair in their direction.


Well Arsene held court with the press this morning ahead of Sunday’s trip to Anfield and those that delight in a spot of Arsene bingo would have been delighted to hear that Wenger’s dictaphone was reeling out the old classics, “We are active but we do not just want to bring average players in. If we find a special player who can find us a plus we will do it, if not we will not do it.” Followed by the extended disco version of “What is important as well is to believe in the players you have and we will get our long-term injuries back.”

Though Harry Redknapp appeared to have unwittingly taped over Arsene’s recording when he said he was on the look out for a “top, top, top player.” Three tops? Wow. A couple of players unsuitable of the triple top prefix will be on their way out, “we might have one or two players going out without [the squad] necessarily being compensated because they haven’t played games for us. It depends on the number of games they have played for us.

“There is a chance that [Nicklas Bendtner] is leaving, where is not decided at the moment. No [we have not reached any agreement]. We are open to anything.” Anything, eh? Frisky.

James Olley in the Evening Standard claims Chamakh, Park and Bendtner were not at training today, though Park did leave with two big suitcases. Had he been living there?

Hold the freakin phone, somebody grab the signing klaxon, because WE’RE CLOSE TO COMPLETING A DEAL! Deni Iliev. A 17 year old Macedonian goalkeeper from FK Belastica. I’m not making this up.

Arsenal had to field Reading youngster Stuart Moore in last night’s NextGen game due to Reice Charles-Cook’s injury and Damian Martinez’s involvement with the first team with doubts over Fabianski and Szczesny. The U-21s fielded reserve goalkeeper coach Tony Roberts on the bench on Saturday, despite the fact that he’s 43.

The Telegraph is reporting that Arsenal made an enquiry about taking Michael Essien on a one year loan from Chelsea. Cripes alive…..

Well, the day of anti climax is upon us. Apparently Arsenal have made an enquiry about Essien on loan (Silv-Essien-stre) and according to the Telegraph’s Jeremy Wilson, we’re monitoring the Clint Dempsey situation.

Park Chu Young is apparently having a medical ahead of a loan move to Celta Vigo. Given that he’s done nothing but train without playing for a year, you’d imagine he’s in good nick.

Aaaaand, heeeeeee’s, outtaaaaaaaa heeeeeeeeeeere. Park Chu Young joins Celta Vigo on a one year loan. Done. Reports suggest Arsenal will still contribute a chunk of his annual salary. Well, we paid him to do nothing last year, so why the hell not?

Juventus have posted a picture of Nicklas Bendtner wearing a questionable polo neck and blazer combination on their official website. Deal appears to be done now, just a question of it’s it permanent or a loan deal. Another one bites the dust!

It’s gone 2pm and not a squeak about incoming transfers. HOLD ME AND TELL ME WE’RE GOING TO REPLACE ALEX SONG!



Brendan Rodgers was asked about Theo Walcott. Cocked a very creepy grin. That’s all I got.

It’s gone 3.30pm. Still not a peep on incomings. Taken to perusing what my favourite Neil Young song might be. *sings*

I was lying in a burned out basement
With the full moon in my eyes.
I was hoping for replacement
When the sun burst through the sky.
There was a band playing in my head
And I felt like getting high.
I was thinking about what a
Friend had said
I was hoping it was a lie.

John Cross has tweeted to say a loan deal for Michael Essien “isn’t something they’ve been pursuing today.” What have we been pursuing? It genuinely looks at this stage, like we’re not going to see any incomings. Russian and French windows close next week, so Squillaci and Arshavin could yet slip out of the back door.

Michael Essien is not in the squad for Chelsea’s Super Cup tie tonight. Roberto di Matteo confirmed he’d been left out because he’s subject to a possible loan move. But it looks more likely to be to Turkey, whose transfer window doesn’t shut till the 4th September.

Window is shut. We’ve signed nobody. Alex Song wasn’t replaced. Theo Walcott is, effectively, a free agent on our books. A lot of people are pissed.