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Spurs In Shock Swoop

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Vital Arsenal have just had a tip off that Spurs are about to make a shock swoop.

Following months of negotiations, and having just failed on bringing veteran striker Teddy Sheringham back to White Hart Lane, the board of Tottenham have turned their attention to Gary Lineker.

Lineker has agreed a two year deal to include 3 packets of Walkers salt and vinegar and one packet of barbeque beef per week.

Gary said: ‘I’m delighted to be going back to Spurs, obviously I’ve not played for a while, but I think I fit in with Martin Jol’s policy of buying youth to build for the future.’

Adding, ‘I’m also really pleased with the terms. The salt and vinegar crisps are great, although I do think I’ve taken a bit of a risk with the barbeque beef ones, they are a little bit ‘mad’ for me, as I don’t like anything too exotic’.

The Spurs fans, who are currently dancing in the streets for being above their local rivals Arsenal and evidently not realising the season hasn’t ended yet, are said to be snapping up the replica shirts in great numbers. The Spurs Shop said: ‘The demand has been unprecedented, we sold 3 shirts within a week and have had to take on extra staff to cope with the sudden rush’.

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