Date: 10th May 2008 at 12:38am
Written by:

First things first, I like to think that usually I write articles on this site with a clear mind and a raging ire. But it’s midnight on a Friday and I’ve got a head full of Guinness and a lung full of Marlboro Lights. ‘I’ll just check Arsenal World before I pass out into oblivion’ I tell myself, now maybe it’s the booze or maybe it’s the fact that all this crap gets stored up on a Friday night, when LD is typically swishing brandy around between thumb and forefinger and regaling the ladies of Croydon with tales of yore.

Firstly, this morning I picked up a copy of World Soccer magazine to see a heart warming interview with David Dein. Cuddly David proclaims that he really misses Arsenal, but still goes to every game. Awwwww, that’s really nice isn’t it? He only wants what’s best for Arsenal football club after fifty years as a supporter. Well that’s super isn’t it? Why, he’s almost the cuddly type of character you’d want running your football club isn’t he? Bless. (Presumably he was In Milan then, when an Arsenal DVD was played to the Arsenal fans kept behind after the 2-0 win in the San Siro, his appearance on screen was roundly booed). Bringing in a someone like Usmanov has NOTHING to do with David’s giant ego and everything to do with his love of Arsenal. Thank you for bringing Usmanov to us David. Don’t let the fact that the Arsenal Supporters Trust balloted their 700 members to find that 98.5% supported the board lockdown impede our gratitude.

By complete coincidence, the Daily Mail carries a story exclaiming that Emmanuel Adebayor is DEMANDING £80,000 a week or else he’s off. Of course the Daily Mail doesn’t trouble itself with any quotes to that effect. An anomalous sentence then tells its readers that this wouldn’t be a problem if Arsenal were to accept Usmanov’s money, but apparently those nasty Arsenal Directors won’t take it. Oh, I wonder where that story came from? Doubtless it was just plucked out of the ether.

Then I see an intriguing headline from everyone’s favourite soothsayer Myles Palmer. ‘Arsenal Fans to pay 5% more to watch Eboue, Walcott and Senderos.’ The concluding sentence of his piece ‘if I were an Arsenal supporter I would be worried.’ As Myles readily proclaims, not only is he not a season ticket holder subject to the 5% rise, but he’s not even a supporter. That doesn’t stop him trying to summon up some kind of imagined revolt. Now Myles, I am not nearly pretentious enough to believe I speak for all Arsenal fans (and that’s saying something, because I can be a pretentious ****** when the mood takes me). But I am an Arsenal season ticket holder, and as such, on my behalf of myself and nobody else, I ask you honestly, what the **** has it got to do with you?LD.

NB I’ll regret this in the morning!