Date: 9th December 2006 at 12:13pm
Written by:

I am sure many of you, like myself, have received e mails this week circulating false roubles. At the last few away matches I have also been covertly offered the inflatable mobile phones of which I am sure you are all aware. I have made my stance towards Cole very clear in several articles. Ashley Cole is the absolute paradigm of all that is wrong with the modern footballer, self absorbed, egotistical but lacking the cranial capacity to utilise his gifts. Cole is as talented as he is stupid, a fantastic footballer, but intellectually you would have to clone him six or seven times before you could construct a half wit.

Cole is not only the antithesis of the model professional. He is also a glaring example of the malleable sportsman, shaped and moulded by the clawed fingers of Lucifer’s spawn- the football agent. Johnathan Barnett saw in Ashley Cole the rarest of commodities. A product oozing talent, dripping with greasy bling but ultimately, as dumb as a post. The pop star marriage, the the tapping up saga (when Mourinho was watching Adriano, remember?), the ‘fed me to the sharks’ gem in his autobiography all elucidate his appalling venality. His autobiography was generally received by the public with complete indifference, it is currently being outsold by ‘We All Live In A Perry Groves World.’ A paltry 4,000 copies have been sold, there are spotty teenage boys working Saturday jobs in Waterstones who can claim to have sold more books than Mr. Cole.

While Cole sold few copies of his autobiography, he still received the consternation of journalists poisoned pens. The two comments that I love the most originate from the most diametrically opposed sources one could imagine. Firstly, the great Perry Groves, ‘My book is about a guy who realises how lucky he was to play for Arsenal. His book is about how he thought Arsenal should feel lucky to have him.’ But the most appalled observer was ex Tory laughing stock and Chelsea fan David Mellor, who called Cole, ‘a greedy little creep and a self indulgent tosspot.’ One journalist oppined that Cole’s autobiography was the least well received memoir since Mein Kampf. All too true. Cole’s egress from Arsenal has earned him vitriol the likes of which I have never seen from Gooners.

But when the deal was struck, I remember a pervading feeling of delight. Cole had gone, and with backs against the wall Dein and Wenger struck a deal that bought William Gallas to Arsenal! One of the world’s premier centre backs had arrived, manager and vice chairman had made the absolute best out of a bum situation (a trick they were to repeat on the same day, swapping the beast for the whingeing Reyes). A tumour had been removed, we’d gained a Willy and lost a ****. Yet it seems my fellow Gooners did not share my joy. Rather than revel in the arrival of Gallas (a purchase which clearly hurt Mourinho’s pride), Arsenal fans chose to relentlessly mock Cole. I can well understand this feeling of hatred towards Cole, but in honesty I had expended my spleen towards Cole when he illicitly met with the Lotto Chavs in the first place. It was my strongly held view that he should never have represented Arsenal again and in silent protest I refused to sing his name thereafter. (Though I did not boo or abuse him). By allowing him to represent Arsenal again, we gave him free reign to dump on our doorstep. His actions this summer therefore came as no surprise to me and I just wanted rid of him as swiftly as possible. It’s never been my persuasion to acknowledge ****, I’d rather flush it.

As a result of his actions, my dislike evaporated into indifference, the great George Bernard Shaw said, ‘The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them but to be indifferent to them.’ A view I fully subscribe to. So why should I waste precious oxygen inflating a mobile phone? Or waste sections of rainforest by littering false roubles at him? Why should I empower him and allow his warped ego to endorse his behaviour further? Don’t get me wrong, I am no fantasist, I would not dream that he is not going to be booed or be the target of derogatory songs, I would not waste my time pleading for people not to do this. As Jens said, this is part of what makes football interesting. We football fans are odd creatures, turning players from deifications to satan incarnates at will. Nor is it my intention to denounce the fun in football and that of being a supporter. The statement on the club website is an embarassing indictment of the chasm between supporter and club. The squad criticising supporters, but then not acknowledging their efforts home or away is fine. Banning supporters for giving tickets to mates at face value is fine. The club have the correct intentions, but lack the legitimacy to print this statement. I will tell you the truth, I have a spare seat for an upcoming away game which I was thinking of advertising in the forum, but I am afraid to do so lest the club see this and remove my memberships, so that seat next to me will stay empty. Fear and trepidation is no way to relate to supporters.

But my main concern is that tomorrow’s match will turn into a ninety minute barrage of abuse towards Cole. The odd song and a chorus of booing is not a problem. But I have seen Cole as a target of sustained abuse when he was in an Arsenal shirt, and he always raised his game. For an example of how counter productive hatred can be, peer periodically into the world of music. Punk and hip hop are two of the most powerful genres to have ever existed. I number myself as a fan of both, but while the fanbase kept them going, it was the hatred of the media and the public which galvanised them and made them powerful. I don’t want Cole to feel that power tomorrow, when he looks over at a sea of mobile phones and gay jokes, he will more than likely replenish any doubt he had about his treatment of Arsene Wenger, the man who gave him his career. To this end it is particularly unfortunate (for more reason than one) that William Gallas will not be playing, is this may have deflected our ire somewhat. Terrace wit is one of the most attractive things about going to see live football, but hatred is not a flattering quality. So you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t massage his ego by furnishing myslef with props. In short, if you are going as well tomorrow, keep it classy, boo if you want to, you are entitled, but please let’s not make an already inflated ego the centre of attention. LD.


19 Replies to “Slaughter Under The Bridge”

  • Good call dutch, i know exactly what you mean, it’ll only make him think he’s actually astill relevant. We as gooners shoudl move on, and not make him feel that he’s soooo important that we miss the little fecker, that woud be the message you would garner if it were you who were the recipient, as you only really get upset at those who hold some position of importance in your world. TYhat said, i think he’s a co ck and represents all that is wrong with the modern day britain – self absorbed, self important, and an ungrateful, celebrity-driven, ignorant little vacuous $hit. I see little worms and cretins like him out and about every dayy of the week, and they could all do with a good kicking. f*** cole, what would be justice if we are not given the chance to boo him because he does his ligaments in the opening 3 minutes and is out for 6 months. harsh, yes, but he’s a despicable little turd.

    »»Arsene Knows««

  • he’s prepared to play, because he’s no better than a money grabbing little ******.

    »»Arsene Knows««

  • Who is being paid more, Cole or Gallas? If they are being paid the same, then why don’t you view them both the same way? Why did you suddenly welcome Campbell with open arms when he was always the object of hate when he was wearing a Spurs shirt? Just be sure to get to the Bridge early tomorrow, I suspect security will be tighter than usual, what a joke! Haven’t the police got anything better to do?

  • westl, i think it’s more to do with the fact that everything that emanates forth from the literary mind of mister cole seems to revolve around how hard done by he’s been. Nearly swerving his car off the road. Bless. It must be hard having your wages doubled.And i agree entirely with lehmann’s observations about young players and their boks – it’s pathetic. At least wait until you’ve HAD a career and have somethign worth saying. This isn’t just aimed at cole, it’s also for lampard, gerrard, rooney and ‘herr’ twisted lip, anyone who buys these books is well and truly ‘merc’d’ to paraphrase the world cup wind-up one.

    »»Arsene Knows««

  • “I was very supportive of him and he knows I did my very best to keep him” Mourinho’s quote on Gallas. Strange he wanted to keep a player who refused to play and threatend to score an own goal? Fact is Gallas is injured, fact is For some reason CFC wanted to pay him less than the likes of Carvalho and Geremi and when Willy said no and left your club made up scandalous lies to make the CFC faithful (all 5 of you) hate him and it worked! Cole would have been the 3rd highest earner behind Henry and Vieira and for a left back thats pretty good, I for 1 was glad to get rid of him, he was like a cancer to our club and we got the best deal possible from a bad situation. I dont think we NEED to boo him as the majority of football fans, press etc have acknowledged his behaviour was pathetic, to be honest id rather forget he ever played for The Arsenal.

  • it’ll be fun to give him stick and abuse, but i’d way prefer it if we gave him a torrid time on the pitch, and THEN mocked him severely, after he;’d been done for a run resulting in a goal.

    th trouble with mocking him is it will make him think that he matters. The biggest knock to a guy of hids type, with his personality, is complete indifferrence. Abuse will feed his ‘i am so important’ ego. The little ter-wat.

    »»Arsene Knows««

  • was a good game today, the second goal was unstoppable, the first should have been saved. biggest winners today are Man utd. Still have high hopes Villa will win the league though, we’ve some easy games in December, Manure twice, Chelski etc, so that should shoot us up to the top. Hey, stop laughing, next year we’ll be there!

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