Here Come The Injuries

Whoop dee doo. It’s started well so far this season, 2 games, 4 goals, 1 let in. A fair bit of bite and battle displayed by ‘the younglings’ (© boromir, lord of the rings).

However, as much as i hate to do it, i have to be the bearer of ill tidings, and a cloud on the horizon.

For here come the injuries. Because YAY, it’s time for the FIRST INTERNATIONALS OF THE NEW SEASON. Great, huh? Yeah, i know, i was ecstatic too when i read it.

So ‘Raving’ Ray Domenech, the maddest manager in International football (it’s at this point that I would like to point out that I am only writing this piece cos when i checked, you guys luckily all had the correct star-signs, otherwise you’d be getting nada from me tonight…) has picked Billy ‘The Armband’ Gallas, Bacary ‘La’ Sagna, and Abou Diaby, for the French squad as France prepare to face Slovakia and Slovakia ‘A’ next week.

Prepare thyself for a heavy dose of fun as ‘Raving Ray’ plays all three of our boys for 90 mins plus injury time in both games, which are on consecutive days.

Laugh yourself senseless as ‘Arsenal-newly-signed-French-International 1’ picks up an injury in the 33rd minute of the first game, only for ‘Raving Ray’ to insist he plays on, all the way on into the 93rd minute of the game the following match.

Hold your sides from guffawing too much as ‘Arsenal-newly-appointed-captain-French-International 2’ gets kicked in the neck and is forced out for up to three months and put in a neck brace.

Chuckle and shake your head in ‘what are the chances of that happening, eh?’ fashion as ‘Arsenal French International 3’, already injured prior to being called up for the internationals, is told by his National coach that if he does not play, he will be suspended for 3 games, because his National coach is more mentalist than a sackful of rabid badgers.

Moreover, let’s see if ‘Ex-Arsenal-captain-who-was-a-striker French International 4’ is forced to play for 90 minutes in one of these friendlies, as was ‘Le Mentaller’s’ (manager, not striker) wont during aforementioned French International’s time at Arsenal, thus ensuring he returned to his club injured and unable to play for some amount of time. Or will ‘Raving Ray’ take him off at half-time and put him in a nice cool bath in a wooden crate full of cotton wool, and send him back to Spain in a private jet? One trusts it will still be the former, in continuation with the astrology-loving French manager’s previously-followed path of player treatment. C’est La Vie, et Bon Chance, Titi.

All these things, and more, dear readers, will be revealed as we enter ‘The International Zone’.

Coming soon, to disrupt a promising start to a season, near you, sooooooooon…