Chelsea In £20m Shock Swoop

Jose Maureenho, has made an audacious attempt to lure Arsenal’s new superstar away from Highbury for £20m.

The Russians from the bridge got wind from Highbury last night of a real gutsy performance from the new addition to the Arsenal ranks.

Jose said,

‘He looks very special, he can be special, we can both be special together’

‘He put in good performance, performance of Champion, he can be champion’

‘He is not very tall, but he is quick, I like quick players’

‘Will his tail fit in the shorts? I don’t know, but if it doesn’t, we buy new shorts’

When asked if he thought it was a little bit soon to judge whether a Squirrel would be good enough to play in the Premier League Jose said.

‘Squirrel? He is not Squirrel, he’s is from Portugal, he is a warrior, not Squirrel.’

The wages are thought to be around 20,000 bags of nuts a week.