Date: 24th September 2009 at 4:40pm
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Less than a month after the summer transfer window has closed, like a kid who has got bored of his new birthday Lego set and is demanding an iPhone and a good smoking pipe for Christmas already, reports linking us to players we can`t buy for a good three and a half months yet are already circulating.

The story of most interest appears to be that of Bordeaux`s Maruoane Chamakh, whom we were repeatedly linked with throughout the summer and who only has one year left on his contract. In the last few days there has been a resurfacing of rumours suggesting we are poised to swoop for him, snatching him up at a cut price due to his miniature contract length, like an eagle majestically diving on its prey or a Bid TV viewer frantically mashing in a number to purchase a crap watch.

Statements from the player to the press made it appear he was trying to force the move through and was flaunting himself to Premier League clubs. If this is this case it appears as if he`s acting in a similar fashion to the way Adebayor behaved last season by making comments about his intent to leave with no regard to Bordeaux`s fans and I`m not sure I`d welcome a player with that attitude. Especially after the Togolese has revealed himself to be more villainous than a man who throws kittens in a threshing machine for fun.

The Bordeaux chairman, Jean-Louis Triaud, has worryingly, in light of Chelsea`s hilarious ban, complained about our interest in him, and the accusations aimed at us seem completely out of character with the club`s usual discreet transfer dealings. It`s like Dame Vera Lynch being accused of mugging and carjacking.

Fresh reports about ');