Date: 2nd October 2009 at 12:16pm
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Barcelona’s actions are embarrassing to their club. The continuous procession of players and club officials announcing their desire to get Fabregas into their bed is beginning to make them appear disturbingly obsessive. Xavi is the latest player to get in on the act. It`s a psychological flaw they need to seek help with. More and more their club is beginning to look like a nerdy stalker in a dirty raincoat, or a slutty groupie following Cesc around.

With a compliant press ever eager to look for any encouragement to invent a story their increasingly desperate pleadings have a ready ear. But it has gone on so long that Cesc has mastered the art of pretty instant denials and his response to Xavi`s love letter was marked ‘return to sender` and mailed back very quickly.

“It doesn’t upset me what Xavi says, not at all. It is very flattering from a great player like Xavi,” said Cesc with practiced diplomacy as he continued

“I am the captain of Arsenal and I have a job to do here. Everyone has their own life and you do what you feel is better for you.

“Being at Arsenal is the best thing for me at the moment. I want to win things here and I’m very comfortable with Arsenal.

“I love London, it’s a great city, it’s like my house, it’s really good. It is very important for a player to feel at home and I feel like that.”

The chances of Barcelona getting Cesc one day are probably a good bit better than Adebayors chances of pulling Beyonce but their classless posturing risks spoiling any potential future consummation if infatuation doesn’t ultimately fade as it is prone to do.

In lovemaking things can happen too soon, timing is important if all parties are to be satisfied. So Barcelona will just have to wait to be screwed. In the meantime taking up a position more likely to be found in the centre pages of a porno magazine doesn`t make them any more attractive. It might appear to help make things happen quicker but that’s often with only one party present.



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