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Baptista Can’t Settle At Arsenal

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Julio Baptista has admitted for the first time that he is finding it difficult to adjust to life at Arsenal.

The ‘Beast’ (doesn’t quite deserve that nickname after this season) can’t handle the weather or the Premiership (sound familiar?) and the beefy Brazilian now says he doesn’t know if he want’s to stay at Arsenal (again, sounds familiar, Reyes did the same things).

Baptista told The Times: ‘The weather over here is killing me. We get one day of sunshine for every 30 days of rain.

‘The Premiership is very hard. I enjoy making clever touches but the game is so fast I don’t have time to think.’

‘I could stay at Arsenal but right now I can’t see myself anywhere for definite,’ he explained.

Baptista went on to say that he would like a second chance at Real Madrid, stating that his girlfriend and mother also prefer life in Madrid (is he reading Reyes’ quotes from last season?).

‘But it is clear in my mind that I’d tackle a second chance with Real with far more maturity than I did my first.

‘My girlfriend and my mother are frightened about not seeing the sun in England. They miss being in Madrid.’

‘The teams from the north of England are terrible,’ Baptista said. ‘When we play them I have counted their centre-backs booting up to 30 long balls upfield per game.

‘The moment you stop to think, someone has taken the ball off you and knocked you to the ground.

‘Over here they value a corner kick more than a fancy flick. I am lucky to be with Arsenal, as they are a team that likes to play proper football.’

It was nice while it lasted, I just hope we’re not paying your wages this season Julio.

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