Date: 18th February 2008 at 10:28pm
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After saturday’s debacle – when just about everything that could go wrong, did – there is at last a bright side to it all – Cap’n Bill has escaped FA action following the belt he gave Nani towards the end of the FA Cup tie.

There were fears that the Arsenal captain would receive a minimum of a three match ban following what looked like it could have been a bit of a dig with the knee to Nani’s thigh, but the FA said, after studying video evidence, ‘The referee was not satisfied that it showed evidence of violent conduct and no action will be taken.’

Rising from his grave, the MoanUre manager, Mark McManusFerguson, after dismissing his wife ‘Jean’, declared the outcome nothing short of ‘mudduh’, and said

I thought Gallas should have been sent off, the referee must have a look at that again. He kicked Nani from behind and the referee called both over because they sized each other up. He should’ve been red-carded.

before rolling his eyes, calling Nani his bescht mate and ambling off to buy a kebab, then dancing along the middle of the road while traffic roared past, with a traffic cone on his head. Upon waking in the morning, McManusFerguson had no recollection of any of these incidents.

I’m I’m offering up my honest opinion here – Bill nobbled him, and he’s lucky to get away with it. He could easily have been done for it.

On the other side of the coin, Nani and Anderson are a couple of hideous, annoying tosspots, and Cap’n Bill should be honoured by the queen for his actions. That and Flamini roadrunner-stylee tackle on the young portuguese winger (does anyone else think he looks like Michael Jackson in the ‘thriller’ video, AFTER he’s turned onto a zombie?) were about the only two highights in what was a dismal performance.

My sympathies to anyone who was unfortunate enough to travel all that way and spend all that money. 9000 of you did not get anywhere near enough return for what I am sure was a substantial outlay. I’ve not seen such an insipid display from an Arsenal team since the Gunners limply bowed out of the CL some years ago away at Juventus..